Please, could you expel, or, at least, restrain, the comma-maniac, on your editorial staff?
Mary Norris, a.k.a., The Comma Queen (1952– ) via The nit-picking glory of the New Yorker’s Comma Queen


If an ass goes traveling, he’ll not come back a horse.
Thomas Fuller (1606-1661) via Google Books


Downtown L. A. looks like they started to build Chicago and then gave up…and let it become a sprawling suburb.
Gary Oldman (b. 1958) via Esquire


If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
David Sedaris (b. 1956), via Barrel Fever


Committee—a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
—Milton Berlinger a.k.a., Milton Bearle (1908–2002)


If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
—Milton Berlinger a.k.a., Milton Bearle (1908–2002)

”Give me my longsword, ho!
—William Shakespeare

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